Age is not just a number - Does Age Difference Matter in a Relatioship?

There is something agonising about falling in love, especially if it’s with a younger man . Usually you do not know how to react to the attention he so willingly gives. There comes a time when you decide to respond to him.  A fear lingers. Fear of another broken heart, this time at the hands of a much younger charge. Insecurity is bound to creep in no matter how beautiful or intelligent or outstanding you are. Then there are those times that you decide to fall in there with reckless abandon! Previous experience has made you defiant to failure. Like everyone else, all you want is to know that there is someone out there who cares what happens to you. So should it matter that they are younger than you?

So what is it that women like about being with a younger man? We had a heated argument recently with my colleagues about this and the following are sort of the positives that come with dating or settling with a guy younger than you. Firstly, they are more fun. What woman does not want to be with a guy who makes her laugh, who is spontaneous and who is very adventurous? We all want that every now and then. Unfortunately our culture and most religions do not take lightly the idea of a single woman taking off with man, for whatever reason. So maybe you are not planning a holiday to the great Victoria Falls or a getaway in the Eastern Highlands, you are bound to always be in stitches with this guy, if you choose right. Most of them have an amazing sense of humour that keeps you wondering where they have been all your life. Most guys that are about my age are set in their ways and are usually more traditional. Gosh i really find that stuffy and boring when you cannot have a bit of adventure and fun.

Most women find it interesting to date the younger guy because he is unlikely to feel threatened by your independence. Chances are he is attracted to you because of your seemingly independence. It is not always the case when a younger man is with you so you can take care of him. In most cases these are the people who seem to know how to treat a woman. They will take you out and hold interesting conversations with your friends, he is supportive when you talk about gym or sport and he is very willing to escort you to your many functions and events. He will probably make them less dull and boorish. Men my age are wrapped around  ideas of how women should be, how they should behave, how they belong in the kitchen and their main role is to take care of the man’s needs. The younger generation of men however seems to get the idea that woman are in their own capacity individuals who have a need to be independent financially, and should be able to pursue their own agendas. There is seemingly more career freedom for all those professional women, when they are in relationships with younger men.

Most people would discourage women from dating man who is younger than them on the basis of the latter being immature. Let’s face it, a man can be as mature as they put their mind to. 

Barbara Wright Abernathy, author of the book Venus on top, states that “age is no guarantee of maturity”. I know a lot of men in their late twenties who cannot compare to my younger brother’s maturity. Most of the younger men are more reliable and conscientious. You can’t judge a man by his age, his actions are a great tipoff.  I believe that everyone is different and that there are personality traits in some people that can easily attract you to them, even if they are younger than you. It also goes without saying that you can actually start feeling young again. A younger man can keep you active and vibrant, so as said above, chronological age does not always reflect physical capacity and emotional maturity.

Lastly, older women have always been a taboo for men in our society. Taboos are rather attractive. One of these attractions is the fact that older women make younger men feel more comfortable. Men seem to like women who make them feel comfortable emotionally, hence the attraction to older women, so naturally those maternal instincts are not such a turn off either as men your own age would think. It’s nice to feel attractive, in the eyes of a younger man, or vice versa.

After all who cares what people think right? As long as you are happy and you enjoy being with your man! Age is not just a number.

Gertrude Bvindi

I am an administrator by profession.  I have a first Degree in Political Science, and I started the first year of my Masters  in International Relations but i am yet to finish it. I am a sports woman, and have participated in Rugby and Basketball at National level. I did my primary school in Mutare, Chancellor Junior and high School in Domboshava, at a Catholic mission.  I am passionate about women issues.

I would like to know your views and please do not hesitate to comment below your thoughts, suggestions and views.